Being back in Christchurch I often feel itchy for drastic change. A part of me is ashamed to be back here because I feel that it's a step back but I guess it's only geographically true, getting on the right career path (no matter how much I hate it) isn't something I should crucify myself over. All very easy to type on one pensive Sunday morning but I need to let it lie and be calm inside of me for now as nothing's about to change today or tomorrow and THAT'S OKAY. When I think about all the painful things gone down in the past ten years, it's proof that life certainly will move forward and I WILL see and do some of things I want to. So be calm Hannah, you psycho!
Something that has become quite apparent however is that some people are simply vexations to your spirit and if your friendship/relationship does not fill your soul with warmth and you do not gain strength from one another then there is no excuse for it continuing; even the length of that friendship is not reason enough if you have made an effort to amend whatever that keeps breaking it. Just as I have grown, they have too, and sometimes the negatives in their personality do not mix with the negatives in yours.
"Qui se resemble s'assemble"- You are who you surround yourself with. From today I will try to make that change.
xx
P.S. For purposes of keeping this a timeline, Kristian just got back from spending a week in Wellington auditioning for musical therapy and for two interviews which all appear to be likely options for him. I keep changing my mind on how I feel about this but it certainly has created a knot somewhere in the depths of stomach. When Paul heard about it this he offered some fatherly advice: "some things are bigger, stronger and more important that your career". Monu-fucking-mental. Guess this proves how much people can change in a short period of time!
No comments:
Post a Comment